Safe and Comfortable Living for Senior Citizens

“Old age is not a burden to be hidden away. It is a chapter full of quiet wisdom, earned smiles, and stories the world still needs to hear.”

Take a brief moment to close your eyes. Imagine a woman who is old, sitting by the window, and watching the afternoon sun shine down on the courtyard. First, she’s not asking for a lot: Just a touch of warmth; a voice that is kind; a meal that shows up on time; a person somewhere knowing whether she got a good night’s sleep last night.

Now imagine, how many thousands of the senior citizens in India don’t get even that.

They are not nameless strangers. They are our grandparents, our parents, our neighbours who played with children on their knees, and who kept the household running with love and sacrifice. At Sadbhavna Vrudhashram, the world’s largest free old age home, we feel that every old age person deserves to live, rather than simply survive. Safe. Comfortable. Loved.

This blog is for anyone who has ever gazed at an elderly parent and thought, “What can I do?” It’s for those who want to know what it means to be truly safe and comfortable in the lives of our senior citizens.

Why Safety is more than four walls.The importance of Safety – beyond four walls.

To most of us, “safety” for senior citizens equates with bathroom grab bars or non-slip bath mats. Yes those things DO make a big difference. However, safety is much more than that.

Physical protection for the elderly is incomplete if he feels left out and lonely. An elder who is sleeping in their bed but not getting someone to be with to talk about the ache in their chest that is not comfortable. Real safety for a senior is the confidence that he or she will not be lost or forgotten.

Sadbhavna has been protecting more than 700 homeless senior citizens since its inception on 15th August 2015. They each came with old age in their eyes and wounds of neglect, of loneliness, and, sometimes, of being quietly pushed aside by the very families that they had spent their lives building. We have witnessed the consequences of that wound not being cared for. And we have seen what happens when it is received in love.

It is a miracle that has taken place.

The 6 Pillars of Dignified Elder Living.

1. Physical Safety & Accessibility

 Aging-friendly spaces, ramps, railings, wide doorways and lighting to help avoid falls and promote independence at every turn.

2. Nutritious Daily Meals

 Three meals of wholesome, home style cuisine each day. A well fed elder is a happy elder and for an old age to be dignified, there is no place for hunger.

3. Medical Care & Physiotherapy

 Regular checkups, free medicine and physiotherapy sessions – old bodies require constant, caring medical care.

4. Cultural & Spiritual Activities

 Celebration of all the festivals, Bhajans, satsangs. The soul must be fed, too, and joy is a necessity, not a luxury.

5. Companionship & Community

 No aged man is found in this solitude. Everyone who cares and loves, and those who share meals, celebrates, and lives together overcome the invisible scourge of being lonely during old age.

6. Emotional Dignity

 Being seen. Being heard. To be called by name in a friendly way. It’s free and it matters so much to an invisible elder.

These are not merely wishes.These are no wishes. Every senior citizen deserves to have these as the bone structure that can never be compromised regardless of living at home, with family or in a care home such as Sadbhavna.

The Stigma no one speaks about: Loneliness

What caregivers have always suspected is true – medical science now confirms that loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day to the aging person’s health. It exacerbates dementia, weakens the immune system and takes away the desire to keep on.

Yet in our society, our older folk are often left to deal with it on their own.

Children’s growth and migration into cities. Upon death of partners. When the house is silent and laughter has ceased. For a senior citizen who’s spent 70 or 80 years sleeping alone and eating without the din of conversation surrounding him, that silence can be deafening.

Comfort for seniors is not only about the physical comfort, it is about the comfort of belonging. Of being aware that someone will know that you didn’t show up for breakfast. Of being able to share the memory of a monsoon that was 40 years ago. A life is most fulfilling when filled with these little tender moments.

At Sadbhavna, we don’t just live together, we live as a family. We have seen relationships flourish among people of various states, languages, and worlds. Elders have been known to laugh again within weeks of arriving at us hollow-eyed and silent. That’s the reason for what we do: laughing.

“These are the hands that created families, built homes, and laboured for decades. They need something to cling to. “Let them have something to smile about.”

What Families Can Do Right Now

When parents and/or grandparents are still alive and at home (with you or on their own), here are the most meaningful things you can do to show your respect for their need to be safe and comfortable:

Don’t hesitate to call, even if there’s nothing wrong. Most elders do not call as they don’t want to be a bother. You call. Ask how they slept. Ask what they ate. Listen to their twenty repeated old stories again; it is important because it’s important to them.

Keep their space ‘safe’ but not ‘clinic’. Clear away any tripping hazards, have more lighting, and one simple grab bar close to the toilet. However, leave pictures on the walls and on their favourite chair. Safety should not equate with rendering the personality of the individual.

Make regular medical exams arrangements. Not wanting to cause trouble, many elders silently suffer from pain that they wouldn’t consider “abnormal. Having a monthly check-up with a GP can detect what lies silent.

Make them part of daily activities. Encourage them to attend your child’s school function! Watch a hilarious video. Seek their opinion about a minor matter. There is no substitute for being consulted and this is a manner of respect.

If the day does arrive when you cannot be there (because of life’s complexities, distances, needs that can’t be met by one family), then select a place that treats your elder as a person, rather than as a resident. A location where dignity isn’t a line on a brochure, it’s a way of life.

This is a Home Where Every Story Matters.

We don’t see Sadbhavna Vrudhashram in the sense of it being an institution. We believe we have a role to play as storykeepers. Each of the elders that enters our doors brings with them a lifetime of sacrifice, of seasons of waiting, of love given and received, too little, too late in some instances.

We are here to ensure they’re not left untold.

Each and every day, our 700+ residents are served healthy food, medical attention, physiotherapy and a sense of community  all at no cost. We believe no man or woman should feel in danger of losing their dignity due to the amount of money in their bank account when they are no longer young.

We are solely supported by the generosity of individuals such as you. All donations, small or large, are used to feed the hungry, treat the sick, and provide comfort to someone who has been given much more by this world than he or she deserves.

If this story touched you if somewhere inside of you you heard yourself say, “I think of my own parent, my own grandparent, how I want to be remembered someday” if you are like that, please tell me that you said it, for then I am not just an elder, I’m a living one.

Take time to make someone smile today!

Help out the Sadbhavna Vrudhashram and take a gift of warmth, food, medicine and love to an old person who is in need the most. It doesn’t take a lot to help. Each rupee is a promise fulfilled.